The Art of Sensual Massage

When people think of sensual or erotic massage they often think of the back rub they give their partner before having sex. While a back rub can be sensual it's only part of the equation. Sensual massage encompasses much more than that and can be a rewarding, soothing and stimulating experience. It can be deeply moving on an emotional level, bring two people closer by fostering feelings of trust and can be a powerful erotic experience. Sensual massage is about communicating your feelings through touch. The level of sexuality you include in your sensual massage is completely up to you.

Sensual Massage Basics

Set the stage for a night of quiet, soothing communication by catering to each of the five senses.

- Music is a powerful tool for creating the right atmosphere. Choose music that you both enjoy, that will capture the mood you want to foster, and that will not be interrupted. You're not going to want to get up and change the CD during the middle of your sensual massage, so make sure there is at leas a few hours worth of music ready to go. Soft, relaxing music is usually best, but what you choose is completely up to you. If you and your partner are relaxed and feel comfortable playing techno rock, then that's OK.

- Turn down the lights to create a romantic mood. Most likely you won't want to massage your partner under bright, incandescent kitchen lights. If you have adjustable lights, turn them down to a soft, romantic glow. Light some scented candles and place them strategic spots around the room. Candles are a wonderfully romantic light source. You can never have too many, and you can get by with just a few.

- Make sure the area you plan to use for your massage is nice and clean. If you have a habit of leaving the bed unmade, or you plan on massaging your partner on the living room floor in front of the fireplace, be sure that the area is nice and clean. Fresh, clean sheets and pillowcases is a great idea. They smell great and have a nice feel.

- Tasty treats can go a long way to get you and your partner in the right mood. Chocolate covered strawberries are a natural but other items like candy, champagne, and bite sized finger foods are a nice starting point.

- Use massage oil if you have it. Massage oil is nicely scented, helps the massage process by reducing the friction between you and your partner's skin, and just plain feels good. Massage oils can be warmed by immersing them in warm water for an extra pleasurable experience. Keep the oil in a spot you can easily reach without getting up after you begin your massage.

Preparation

Begin your massage preparation by getting clean. A shower goes a long way to soften the skin and remove oil and dirt. A romantic shower for two is a great way to start, but it's not absolutely necessary. If you do take a shower with your partner, start by washing him or her. Lather up with lots of soap. There's something extremely sensual about slowly and deliberately washing your partner's skin. You can do it any way you wish, but I like to start facing my partner and washing his shoulders first, then his chest, stomach, genital area and legs. Then I have him turn around and wash his back, moving down slowly to his legs. There's no wrong way to do it, but it's important to take your time and be sensual. Sensual massage is as much a mind set as an actual massage. Begin by setting the mood.

The Massage

Start your massage by slowly stroking your partner's body. You can start any place on his or her body you like, but it's usually a good idea to start in a "non-sexual" place like the face, shoulders or back. Your goal is to get both you and your partner in the mood, so start by gently stroking their skin. Move your hand or fingers up and down their arms, legs, chest and back, caressing each part of their body as you go. At this stage you want to use very light strokes. Fingertips work well, as does the back of your hand. Savor their skin, and they will certainly be enjoying your touch.

As your partner becomes ready for stronger touch, grab the massage oil, place a small amount - around a tablespoon or two - in the palm of your hand and rub it in. If you've warmed the oil you can dribble it directly onto your partner's skin. Hot (but not too hot) oil feels wonderful when it's applied directly. Start by gently massaging the back with long, deep strokes. You can vary the intensity of the strokes to suit your partner's taste.

After a few minutes of back massage your partner will likely be ready to have other parts of their body massaged. Of course you'll want to gauge this for yourself. Your partner might be ready after two minutes, and it might take 15 minutes or longer. Slowly and deliberately move your massage focus from the back to the shoulders and arms. Move down their arms, massaging their forearms and hands. Both the back and palm of the hand is a wonderful part to massage. Work your partner's hands by "kneading" their palms with your thumbs. Another technique is to grab each finger with your thumb and forefinger and gently pull towards their fingernails, kneading as you go. After the arms and hands, feel free to move down to their lower back, their buttocks and their legs and feet.

Moving to the front side, massage your partner's chest. If your partner is female it's a good idea to start by very lightly touching their chest and nipples. Tease them with the light touch of your fingers and the back of your hand. Move down to their stomach, their genitals - which you can massage if you like - and their legs and feet.

Genital Massage

At any point during your sensual massage it is appropriate to massage the genitals if that's what you and your partner would like. Remember that you are still giving a massage, and that the goal is to make you and your partner feel good. If you or your partner have an orgasm that's OK, but many people find that delaying orgasm until after the massage works best. It's totally up to you and your partner.

If your partner is female, start by slowly and gently running your fingers around the outside of her vagina. Brush up against her vulva and labia, but move slowly. Tease her with a light touch and slow strokes. When she's ready you can move to her labia, her clitoris and/or her G-Spot. Pay attention to what she wants, and try to be in tune with how she likes to be touched. Vibrators can add a different dimension to sensual massage and can be used if desired.

If your partner is male, start your genital massage by brushing your hands lightly up against his penis. Place a little bit of lubrication in your hand such as Astroglide or I-D Glide and begin by softly rubbing it into his penis and scrotum. Men usually appreciate long, slow strokes to start, but you'll want to measure his reaction and adjust your movements accordingly. If he prefers short, light strokes then start with that. The most important thing to remember is that sensual massage is designed to make you and your partner feel good, so concentrate on that goal and your partner will likely appreciate your efforts.

Afterwards

Sensual massage may be the goal in and of itself, but it may lead to orgasm, and it may also lead to sex. Wherever you and your partner end up, it's always nice to cap off an intimate experience by spending some time together talking and being intimate. Sharing and reflecting on a pleasurable experience like a sensual massage can be a rewarding, relationship-building experience for both partners.