Questioning the conventional wisdom

I think I've heard all of these reasons plus a few others that don't hold much water for as long as I have been aware of this issue. A few years ago I heard a man comment on the "spit or swallow" debate. He said that men, in fact, don't prefer that women swallow, and his reason made more sense to me than all of the "pro-swallowing" arguments combined.

He said that he didn't necessarily have the need for a woman to swallow his semen, but he did find it less satisfying when a woman stops what she is doing when he is about to come, usually in favor of less satisfying stimulation like licking or stroking his penis with her hand. He said that while he found slight gratification when a woman swallowed his ejaculate after orgasm he said that he also believed that the hype of swallowing was overblown. He also said that he was not alone in his view.

Several questions came to mind after hearing this news. I asked him what he thought a woman should do with the semen after ejaculation. His response was that he "really didn't care". Now this was a very nice guy, and he said this with no hint of sarcasm or disrespect. I found his next comment quite humorous. "I don't care what she does with it…she can spit it into a wad of tissue, or into the flower pot for all I care…it really doesn't matter", he said. I laughed, and then I thought about the implications of his comment.

This was several years ago and the conversation has been in the back of my mind ever since. Was this true? Does this view represent the thoughts of just a few men, or do many men feel this way? After receiving the question from one of our visitors in my inbox I decided to investigate. What a great opportunity to resolve this issue.

The Spit or Swallow Survey

So I came up an admittedly unscientific questionnaire that I would give to 50 adult heterosexual men. I decided to keep it hetero because I am trying to answer this question for women. I figured that the same survey completed by 50 homosexual men might yield very different results.

Here are the questions: (and answers)

When you receive oral sex, do you have a preference on whether or not the woman swallows or not?

Yes: (32)
No: (18)

If you answered yes, which is your preference?

Swallow: (28)
Spit: (4)

If you prefer that a woman swallow, which of the following statements best describes your preference?

a. I just don't feel the act is complete when a woman does not swallow: (4)
b. I really like it when she swallows, and the act is a little less satisfying if she doesn't: (14)
c. I prefer when a woman swallows, but I'm still satisfied if she doesn't: (10)
d. None of the above: (0)

If you checked statement "a" above, would you be somewhat less satisfied, significantly less satisfied, completely unsatisfied or no less satisfied if you learned that she spit your semen out AFTER you ejaculated.

Somewhat less satisfied: (1)
Significantly less satisfied: (1)
Completely unsatisfied: (0)
No less satisfied: (2)

If you checked statement "b" above, which of the following statements best describes your thoughts - relating to the reason why you feel the act is less satisfying:

The thought of a woman swallowing turns me on: (3)
Oral sex doesn't feel as good if she doesn't swallow: (8)
When a woman doesn't swallow it makes me think she isn't into it: (3)
A woman should swallow; it's not that big of a deal: (0)
Other: (0)

If you checked statement "b" above, check all of the following statements that apply:

I would be more satisfied if she didn't stop what she was doing until after I came: (12)
I would be more satisfied if she kept a constant rhythm during oral sex: (11)
There isn't much to say; there is no substitute for swallowing: (4)

If you checked statement "b" above and answered "the thought of a woman swallowing turns me on", which best describes the turn-on:

It makes me feel like she cares about me: (1)
Swallowing is erotic; I just like the thought: (2)
None of the above: (0)

If you prefer that a woman spit, which of the following statements best describes your preference?

I think it's wrong for a woman to swallow: (1)
It isn't important because I am satisfied either way: (1)
I don't know why; it's just not an issue: (1)
Other: (1)

If you prefer that a woman spit, which of the following statements best describes your view?

The idea of a woman swallowing turns me off: (1)
I am neutral, spitting or swallowing is all the same to me: (2)
I like the idea of a woman spitting; it turns me on: (1)

If you prefer that a woman spit, check the statement that is most relevant to you:

My woman really knows how to please me orally: (3)
My woman is fairly good at oral sex, but there is room for improvement: (1)
My woman is not very good at giving head: (0)

If you answered "no preference" to the question: "When you receive oral sex, do you have a preference on whether or not the woman swallows your semen or not?", which best describes your reaction to oral stimulation?

I reach orgasm quickly: (8)
I take a while to orgasm: (4)
I have to concentrate a lot to orgasm: (3)
I rarely orgasm during oral sex: (3)

So there you have it. I wish I had time to question more men - I think several hundred might give the best results.

So what can we glean from my oral sex survey?

I thought long and hard (pun intended) about inserting my opinion about the results, but ultimately I decided that it would be best to let you decide. The responses are what they are, and I want to leave it up to you to draw your own conclusions.

I think it's noteworthy, however, that 36% of the men surveyed do not have a preference when it comes to spitting or swallowing. Of the men that did have a preference…well you can draw your own conclusions.

I think back on what that man said to me a few years back about his reasons for not caring whether his girlfriend at the time spat or swallowed, and it still resonates in my mind. Several men I've known have told me that it makes sense to them, which has turned my theory into a hypothesis of sorts. If anyone else can add to this debate I'd love to hear from you.