Can a sex toy prepare me for sex?

Can I use a sex toy to prepare myself for sex?

This will probably depend on what you mean by preparing yourself for sex. I think that any sexually active human being would benefit from knowing themselves and how they respond different types of stimulation. Knowing what you like, how you like to be touched, and what you and/or your partner can do to maximize your pleasure can lead to a fulfilling and rewarding sex life - probably more so than not knowing what type of stimulation works for you. Sex toys could definitely be a part of this exploration and they might be a good way to get in touch with your body, and a good way to learn how you react to certain stimulation.

Masturbation will help you get in touch

Women (and men too) who know how to give themselves an orgasm are in a much better position to tell their partner what kind of stimulation they like, and what they need to achieve an orgasm. Without a doubt the best way to learn about your body and your sexual needs is through masturbation. If you haven't begun masturbating already this is a very good place to start. Keep in mind that masturbation is completely normal, healthy, and natural and will make you a better lover by education you to your body's sexual needs.

If you are just starting out with self-exploration I would recommend that you start off using your fingers, and not sex toys just yet. Find a nice, comfortable place where you won't be afraid of being interrupted and begin to become familiar with your body. Find out how you like to be touched by touching yourself and noting what feels good. Be mindful of the experience and all the subtleties that go along with it. Do you like to start off slow? Does clitoral or vaginal stimulation arouse you? Maybe a combination of the two? Do you enjoy direct clitoral stimulation, or do you prefer internal stimulation? Your goal is to find what you enjoy - so do what feels good.

After a few masturbation "sessions" you might notice that you've settled into a routine. This is good! It means that you're finding the type of stimulation that works for you. Go with the routine, but explore as much as you can at the same time. Try not to get too deep into the routine, or the process - keep it about the pleasure of the moment.

Introducing sex toys into masturbation

Once you've become in tune and comfortable with your sexual responses you can try to incorporate sex toys into your masturbation sessions. Some women find it easier to orgasm with a vibrator, dildo or other sex toys than with manual stimulation. This is something that would be good for you to know. Sex toys, particularly vibrators, can provide the powerful sensations some women need to reach climax. Some women say it's because the vibrations that are unique to vibrators are extremely pleasurable, and others say that vibrators allow them to work less and concentrate more making orgasm easier and more pleasurable. Whatever the case, I would consider sex toys a "tool" in your toolbox. If you find that the orgasms you experience with a sex toy are uniquely pleasurable then more power to you. Use it wisely, and stay in tune with your body.

Beyond getting in touch with yourself and your sexual responses there is nothing really to do to prepare for having sex for the first time. I am assuming that this is a big step for you and that you have talked about this with your partner. Communication will help ease some of the tension you might feel your first time and will help you have a positive outcome. Also try to avoid putting pressure on yourself, especially the first time. When you're ready to have sex, set up a nice romantic evening with your partner, or ask him or her to help you set the mood. Find a place where you aren't going to be bothered or rushed, relax, light some candles and get into the mood. If you've been masturbating then you will have a good idea what feels good for you. If this is also your partner's first time then they will likely need (and be grateful for) some guidance. Let them know what feels good for you. They, with any luck, will be able to do the same for you.